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June 17, 2015 @ 9:25 pm

How to create a relationship with fear

Many of us have been there, you know the feeling - the pit in your stomach, the countless 'what ifs' running through your head and the mindless chatter that tells you again and again, why you can't move forward. Fear. I found myself in this very place in 2010. I was faced with a big decision, stay and lose my identity or leave and face the unknown. At the time I was in a marriage that no longer served me. Married to a man in the midst of an affair I had a simple choice to make, stay or leave, but the fear consumed me nearly making me blind. And the fear almost got me from seeing my choice.

In FDR's first inaugural address he stated, "The only thing to fear, is fear itself." Choice words for such a renaissance man. Before doing today's interview I asked many of my own friends what fear meant to them. Two main themes came up for the women, fear of feeling like a fraud, and fear of being judged. On the contrary, most of my male friends feared not being a good provider.

In the book, Lean in, Sheryl Sandberg talks about fear, stating that fear is the root of many barriers that women especially face in 'achieving.' Fear of making wrong choices, not being liked, overeating, being judged and fear of failure. We are consumed in self-doubt and fear. Ellen Bravo suggests that "women are not thinking about having it all, they're worried about losing it all."

Fear can paralyze us. The ego steps in and tells us all the reasons we can't move forward. Oh how much harm will happen if we do.....but then somehow you gain the courage to move through it, to move forward and it's as if the angels drop from heaven and begin to sing. Yes, the only thing to fear, is in fact, fear itself.  to continue reading click here.

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